Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare. The Legal and Personal Perspective
When Harkirat Assi first walked into my office with boxes full of folders documenting nearly a decade of her life, it was immediately clear this was no ordinary case. She came with another solicitor, possibly to validate her story, as from the outset, it seemed beyond belief. What Harkirat had been through was unimaginable – an eight-year-long relationship with someone who didn’t exist. Her story would later become known as “Sweet Bobby,” a harrowing example of catfishing, but at that moment, all I saw was a woman seeking justice for the psychological torment she had endured.
So many lawyers and firms turned the other cheek, but #thankyou to my legal team @cyberlawexpert at Cohen Davis Solicitors and @gervasedewilde who took it on without much question. I know it wasn’t an easy ride! #internetlaw #socialmedialawyer
— Harkirat Kaur Assi (@JustKirat) November 28, 2021
The initial encounter – a story beyond belief
Harkirat laid out the evidence in front of me – folders upon folders, each meticulously detailing her communications with a man she thought was her boyfriend, Bobby Jandu. But Bobby wasn’t real. The person behind the deception was Simran Kaur Bhogal, someone she trusted as a family member. Many might have dismissed her claims, but years of experience handling internet law had taught me to never be dismissive. The digital world can make anything possible, and Sweet Bobby’s catfishing case was proof of that.
Why I took the case
There are times when a lawyer must trust their gut. While Harkirat’s story seemed almost too extreme to be true, I recognised the tell-tale signs of online deception and catfishing. After years of handling similar cases, I knew this wasn’t just a bizarre relationship gone wrong; this was something far more sinister. The scale of the manipulation, the length of time, and the intricate web of lies convinced me that Harkirat needed help, and I knew I was the right person to fight for her in the Sweet Bobby case.
The real Bobby: a case of his own
Not many know that there is a real Bobby – Bupinder Jandu. I am also handling his legal case against Simran Bhogal. Simran used his identity without his consent, weaving him into a fabricated world that affected his life as much as it did Harkirat’s. Bobby’s experience highlights how far-reaching the consequences of catfishing can be, not just emotionally but socially as well. His reputation, particularly within his close-knit community, was tarnished due to lies he had no part in. This legal battle is ongoing, as we seek justice for the significant damage caused to Bobby and his family by Sweet Bobby’s catfishing scandal.
The negotiations – a battle for truth
From the outset, Simran denied any wrongdoing, even accusing Harkirat of being the criminal. However, as more evidence came to light in this elaborate catfishing case, the pressure mounted, and she was eventually forced to admit liability. One of her key tactics was intimidation—threatening to report Harkirat to the police, a classic move to scare victims of catfishing into silence. But Harkirat stood firm, determined to seek justice despite the psychological toll it had taken on her during the Sweet Bobby ordeal.
A trial by public opinion
As the Sweet Bobby case gained public attention, what became clear was the harsh judgment Harkirat faced from the public. The internet was flooded with negative comments aimed at her, with many questioning how she could fall victim to such a prolonged catfishing deception. Here’s a sample of the types of comments we saw:
- “It’s not a real relationship until you have met the person in real life. Anything other than that is ‘buyer beware.’” (United States)
- “For 10 whole years? Who waits for 10 years? This woman literally went from adulthood to middle age…” (UK)
- “Just proves how dense she was!” (Essex, United Kingdom)
- “She wasn’t in a relationship, she had a pen pal, a fake one at that. How anyone can be this gullible is beyond me.” (Southampton, United Kingdom)
- “If you haven’t met, it’s not a relationship, and he’s not your boyfriend.” (Kent, United Kingdom)
The tone of these comments reflected widespread misunderstanding and judgment. Many people questioned how someone could fall victim to a catfish for so long, with some responses bordering on cruelty.
But despite the embarrassment and shame, Harkirat wanted to come forward so others could do the same. She was determined to remove the stigma surrounding being scammed, especially in cases like hers, where the deception was so sophisticated. For a long time, Harkirat had been unable to speak about her ordeal. She tried, but hardly anyone believed her, which only compounded her internal suffering. Like other victims of catfishing, she needed vindication—she needed someone to confirm that the story she had been telling was true.
That public vindication came when she refused an offer of additional payment to keep silent about her story. Harkirat was determined to speak out, not just for herself, but to help others. And I can say, with confidence, that she has done a public service. Since her case became known, many others have come forward with their own extraordinary stories of being catfished—proof that these scams can happen to anyone, even the most ordinary people.
A different perspective
Like most scams, everyone is vulnerable, no matter how intelligent or cautious they might be. You might think it couldn’t happen to you, but it can. Why? Because we all want to view our lives in a certain way. We search for signs to validate our hopes, dreams, and futures. When things seem to add up, even amidst doubts, we often choose to believe. That’s how we can get caught up in a web of lies that clouds our judgment, much like what happened to Harkirat during the Sweet Bobby catfishing case.
Harkirat should not be judged harshly. When I met her, I saw a smart, ambitious woman who had been devastated by the betrayal of someone close. Like anyone, she was looking for love and affection, and her experience with Sweet Bobby’s catfish should be viewed through the lens of compassion. She was caught in a trap set by someone she trusted, and few people in her situation would have been able to see through the incredibly sophisticated lies Simran had constructed.
The public must understand that unless they’ve walked in Harkirat’s shoes or experienced such a deceptive, highly elaborate scam, it’s nearly impossible to judge her actions fairly. What she endured was beyond the understanding of most people, and she should not be blamed for the malicious actions of another in this intricate catfishing case.
Moving forward – a lesson in trust
Harkirat’s Sweet Bobby case is a testament to the power of deception and the dangers that lurk in the digital world. It’s easy to say “this would never happen to me,” but the reality is that anyone can be vulnerable to manipulation when it’s as expertly crafted as Simran’s web of lies. We all crave love, trust, and human connection, and that can sometimes lead us to ignore the red flags that are present in catfishing situations.
As her lawyer, I fought to bring justice for Harkirat, but it’s also crucial that we change the public narrative around victims of catfishing and online scams. We need to stop blaming victims and start focusing on holding perpetrators accountable. Sweet Bobby is just one example of how emotionally damaging a catfish scam can be, and the wider public must learn to approach these cases with empathy.
Final thoughts
The Sweet Bobby story isn’t just about catfishing; it’s about the deeper human emotions of trust, betrayal, and the lengths people will go to manipulate others. Sweet Bobby and Harkirat’s experience is a powerful reminder of how easily anyone can fall victim, and how important it is to approach such cases with empathy and understanding.
If you or someone you know is facing a similar situation, don’t hesitate to seek help. No matter how unbelievable your story may seem, it deserves to be heard, and there is a path to justice.